Driving That Train, high on Cocaine

Remember that song Casey Jones by the Grateful Dead? Cocaine has inspired many a mind to create. From the Red Hot Chilly Peppers – Snow to Kanye West – Addiction and many other songs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_drugs#Cocaine), cocaine has inspired the masses. And now, Redux Beverages in Las Vegas, NV has been inspired by the substance that has been (according to wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocaine#Modern_usage) estimated to have a market value exceeding billion in street value for the year 2003. Yes, Redux has created a drink and named it Cocaine. If you’re first hearing about this, you need to stop reading immediately and climb out from under your rock and then use said rock to bash yourself over the head, because as you will see below, Redux has been all over the news for their new product. First things’ first, Redux is not telling you to try the a similarly named controlled substance nor do they condone it’s usage. Click on www.drinkcocaine.com and you will read how ABC New in Salt Lake City, Utah says that the drink will make kids think it alright to snort cocaine. Also, a comment from a leading psychologist in South Boston, MA saying that ignorant, uninformed kids will deem usage of the hard drug acceptable after romanticizing the drink. The Redux Cocaine site and I both think that kids these days are much smarter than people think. If you have a different opinion, feel free to comment.

Now, unfortunately for those of us reading this article, there are no traces of actual cocaine in the drink. However, let’s look at the stats. According to our friends at www.energyfiend.com, Redux has got one hell of a drink with 280 milligrams of caffeine. That’s 350% the amount of caffeine in Red Bull. We can thus say that Cocaine Energy Drink will give you more than wings. It’ll provide the fuel for the included Jet Pack! The website says "Cocaine is not just a re-hash of existing drinks:  It is a completely unique new formula - it tastes like a fireball, a carbonated atomic fireball!"

Speaking of being on fire… lets look at all this publicity. Here are a few links to remind you of the closed minded society we live in today.

Directly from the horses ass.

These guys bash the drink and have a huge page full of comments.

Chicago tribune thinks the drink might be over the line. What do you think?

Look at this!!! James Kirby, senior partner and founder of Redux Beverages, admits that their total marketing expenditures TO DATE are less than . INCREDIBLE!!!!

How bout our friends to the north… lets hear what they have to say about the latest "rave drink."

The point of the matter is this; we have this thing called the first amendment or the freedom of speech. You could name a drink "R. Kelly’s Piss" and as long as there isn’t any actual piss in it, it is 100% legal. You can opt not to drink it, but if it tastes like lemons and gets your throat all numb, why not. Remember when Hi-C came out with their flavor "Ecto Cooler" shortly after the Ghostbusters movie? Kids of all ages loved it. But you didn’t see them spraying each other shouting "you got slimed" did you? Kids drank that disgusting looking green juice because it tasted good.

It actually doesn’t matter whether you drink Cocaine Energy Drink or not, it will be such a popular drink because of the controversy. Redux had found the best method of free advertising and public relations. The Cocaine energy drink will go down as the most debated drink in the history of the United States, next to alcohol of course, which, when combined with driving, has caused the deaths of nearly 1500 people in the state of New York in 2005. Let’s get our minds out of the gutter people and focus on something that really matters. Like how to mix a little alcohol with our new found Cocaine Drink. Directly from the website www.drinkcocaine.com, can be found over 10 unique ways to have a little legal fun!

Liquid Cocaine - Vodka, White Rum, Triple Sec, Cocaine
Cocaine Smash - Vodka, Cranberry, Cocaine
Cocaine Blast - Vodka, Triple Sec, Grapefruit, Cranberry, Cocaine
Cocaine Splash - Vodka, Triple Sec, Grapefruit, Cranapple, Orange, Cocaine
Cocaine Thriller - Vodka, Rum, Triple Sec, Southern Comfort, Cocaine (splash of Grand Marnier)
Cocaine Shot - Shot of Vodka, Cocaine and Powdered Sugar
Cocaine Snort - Shot - Tequila, Cocaine and Salt
Jagercaine - Shot of Jagermeister followed by 2 oz Cocaine shooter
Mexicaine - Tequila, Cocaine, Grenadine followed by 2 oz Cocaine shooter
SchlagerCaine - Shot of Goldschlager
Cocaine / Apple Tini - Apple Vodka with splash of Cocaine and twist of Lime

Just remember, www.drinkcocaine.com advocated you "Use At Your Own Risk," saying it contains "Extreme amounts of energy!" and that if used, might cause "excess excitement, stamina, fun and possible feeling of euphoria." This sounds great if you ask me. I would much rather walk up the bartender and ask for some Liquid Cocaine, then have to get the same effect after trying to find a sketchy guy in glasses selling a little pill that will get you kicked out of the club.

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